The New Mindy Kaling Book: Our Favorite Parts (live blog)

15 Sep 2015

My love for Mindy Kaling’s books (and… just Mindy Kaling overall) has already been discussed on this blog. The new Mindy Kaling book Why Not Me is out today, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it. I’m reading it throughout the day today (as an aside, best job ever, am I right?) and will be adding my commentary and favorite moments herein.

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10:36 AM – morning checklist is done. IT IS TIME TO MINDY.

Item number one: flip through and read all of the chapter headings. I need to see what I’m in for, after all, and plan which chapters to live blog.

10:37 AM – these chapter headings are hilarious.

As if I expected anything else from Mindy Kaling’s new book. One of my favorite parts about Mindy Kaling’s writing: her smart observational wit. That humor shines in her brief (and brilliant) chapter headings, including:

Mindy Lahiri, MD, Everygirl, Mild Sociopath

Mindy Lahiri is the protagonist in The Mindy Project, in case you currently and formerly inhabit a living space that is comfortably ensconced beneath a rock. What a beautiful description of Mindy Lahiri.

4.a.m. Worries

If I’m awake at 4 a.m. I’m probably a) so sleepy that I am prone to bursting into tears with no warning whatsoever or b) on my way to the airport to catch a flight. I’m almost definitely worried about something in either situation. Apt, Mindy.

How to Look Spectacular: A Starlet’s Confessions

I imagine this involves lots of Spanx and creams that I can’t afford (also photoshop), but I still definitely need this information.

A Perfect Courtship in My Alternate Life

What an icebreaker question for anyone brave enough to enter the world of online dating.

11:01 AM – I’m starting with the ‘How to Look Spectacular’ chapter. Because I can. Also it’s the first one in my list.

This is off to a good start.

I am telling you, the key to looking gorgeous is to never sit up straight. It implied you have not eaten enough to have the strength to sit like a regular person, which historically is sexy to everyone.

Accurate. Funny. Oh, how fancy (and also slightly ridiculous, but SO FANCY) do celebrity editorial photos look when starlets are artfully slumped on vintage chaise lounges? And the subtle dig at society’s obsession with thinness and adoration of a waifish figure. Love.

Okay. Moving on, because I’m getting too into this chapter and I have to go to a meeting, but I’m so excited that this is social commentary and not a laundry list of things to buy for red carpet premiers.

12:23 PM – meeting is over, which means MORE OF MINDY’S BOOK.

I need to know what I should bring to Mindy’s dinner party in the event that all of my dreams come true and I am invited to such a spectacular event. Apparently stories and hot sauce. I can handle that.

1:03 PM – moving on to the section on Mindy Lahiri, MD.

All of that talk about dinner parties in this gem of a Mindy Kaling book made me hungry. But now it’s back to work, which means time to read a chapter from the ‘work’ section of Mindy Kaling’s new book. Namely, Mindy Lahiri, MD, Everygirl, Mild Sociopath.

Mindy not-so-gently reminds us that she is not the same person as her character. Mindy Lahiri is fiction. Mindy Lahiri would, as Kaling states, “flirt with a fireman while he was fighting a fire and be miffed she doesn’t have his undivided attention.” Mindy Kaling would not.

Man, that’d be a funny scene.

1:35 PM – now for the fun part – the dating section.

The first chapter is called Soup Snakes. Obviously that’s about her relationship with BJ Novak. I’m going to read that one last. I do what I want. But in preparation for you reading the book yourself, look at the amazing book trailer Mindy Kaling and BJ Novak made together for BJ Novak’s book One More Thing:

Soup Snakes will have to wait. The chapter called A Perfectly Reasonable Request, wherein Mindy describes the kind of guy she wants to date (a good guy who is a feminist who will go glamping with you in Montana and supports your dreams) is making me swoony. It’s totally a reasonable request.

But I’m skipping to the chapter called A Perfect Courtship in my Alternate Life.

You’ll have to read Mindy Kaling’s book to find out what her ‘perfect courtship’ is (I’ll give you a teaser – it involves a NYC fictional version of Mindy as a Latin teacher at the Dalton school). Here’s mine: I’m an American expat on an alpaca farm in the Andes mountains. On one of my daily alpaca hikes (I’m assuming that’s a thing alpaca farmers do, having done no research whatsoever), a somewhat rugged quinoa farmer crosses my path. I soon discover he’s from San Francisco – he escaped the Silicon Valley hustle to live a peaceful mountain life. We bond over how much we love ceviche, the little things we miss about America, and how cute it is that Gus (my favorite alpaca) loves to steal his quinoa. Bam. Perfect courtship in my alternate life.

1:51 PM – I should get back to work.

Technically this IS work, but my to-do list is staring at me. Menacingly. Stop it, to-do list, you’re the worst. I’m sorry for saying that. You aren’t the worst. Please forgive me.

I highly recommend the new Mindy Kaling book Why Not Me if you’re a fan of Bossypants, How to Be a Woman, Yes Please, and of course Mindy Kaling’s book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns).

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